Actions (sometimes) Speak Louder than Words.

2 Mar

Because I’m such a talker it’s difficult for me to grasp the fact that others may not be the same.  It’s easy for me to express myself through words (oftentimes too many words) and frustrating having to deal with those who may be communicationally lacking.  However, I feel as if I’ve gotten better with accepting the fact that others express themselves differently than I do.  They may be conveying the exact same message, just using a different method.  I place such heavy emphasis on words and verbiage that sometimes I forget “actions speak louder than words”.   As much as I hate to say this adage I do see the validity. Without the actions, words hold no weight.  I’m a firm believer in tailoring your communication style to the listener, but others may not be the same.   This holds true especially in personal relationships.  It’s much easier to change your communication style when it comes to clients or customers because you’re not around them constantly and you can clock out, or mentally check out. Yet, when you’re communicating with friends, partners, family it’s difficult to communicate in any other way than your own.  Whether this means expressing yourself through words, song, dance, whatever floats your boat.

 After being in a relationship with someone for the past two years (someone who I have, in pure frustration, referred to as “emotionally lazy” ) I have come to understand that not everyone places such emphasis on words as I do.  Some, like Mr. Kelley, prefer actions to words.  What he chooses to do compared to what I choose to say could mean the same thing, but executed very differently.   Communication is more than words; it includes all methods of conveying messages.  Being a Journalism major I guess I tend to forget that sometimes.

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6 Responses to “Actions (sometimes) Speak Louder than Words.”

  1. marriagecoach1 March 2, 2011 at 12:05 pm #

    Speaking as a man for most men, we all prefer actions to words. We demonstrate that we love you by the things that we do for you. Women say I love you and yet quite often fail at the actions, the chief of which is taking care of the sexual needs of the man in your life. Women are far too easily distracted by things in their lives and are willing to defer sex. It just makes men cranky.

    Blessings on you and yours
    John Wilder

    • kelleyzwong March 2, 2011 at 12:42 pm #

      Marriagecoach1- I appreciate your thoughts.

      It’s taken me a while to grasp this but, I’ve finally come to understand that we appreciate and show our appreciation differently. I’m not advocating saying things you don’t mean, but for me words mean something and for him, actions mean more. We’ve just gotten to a mutual point of understanding and acceptance of how the other chooses to expresses themselves.

  2. marriagecoach1 March 2, 2011 at 12:07 pm #

    By the way, I am writer and are quite comfortable with words and still prefer actions to words


  3. Sumiko Maser March 6, 2011 at 11:07 pm #

    I think this holds true- no matter what area of life…personal or business. Even worse is saying you are going to do something and not following through. At that time actions speak louder than words, and the next time your words probably won’t mean a thing either!

    • kelleyzwong March 7, 2011 at 8:25 am #

      Oh I definitely agree with you. Everyone should follow through with what they say. It’s important to be able to show that you are capapble of doing something as opposed to simply talking about it. But my problem in my personal life has always been wanting to talk about everything because sometimes that’s all that’s needed while others (like Mr. Kelley) never wants to talk about anything.

  4. marriagecoach1 January 19, 2014 at 1:45 pm #

    Kelly, I am not saying that you are guilty of this but so often women don’t make it safe for men to be truthful with women if the message can in any way be construed as a critique of the woman. If it is, often women get hyper defensive and go into yelling and/or crying jags and cursiing and with nolding sex with the express intent on teaching that no good man to NEVER EVER CRITIQUE HER AGAIN. Men learn the lesson all to well and learn to “seethe in silence”. Once a woman has done this it often destroys the intimacy between them. Men are like turtles, when they sense danger they tuck their heads back into the their shelll. Most women on the other hand once they have had their tantrum are ready to resume life as normal. What she fails to realize is that she has committed the CARDINAL SIN OF RELATIONSHIPS she disrespected the man and men need respect even more than they need sex.

    That is why it is imperative to have a quiet and gentle spirit when discussing difficult things with a man.

    This is oten repeated by women for putting her man down for his sexuality. This is mean and cruel and would be analagous to putting a woman down for having period. Men REQUIRE sex 3-4 times a week and it is not an option like it is for women. Women rightfully don’t want to be forced to have sex against her will and yet the vast majority of the women out there have no problem at all forccing their men to do WITHOUT SEX AGAINST HIS WILL. Just saying

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