Bite Your Tongue

5 Jun

I blog a lot about communication and how to fix or better your communication skills and one thing I’ve learned through doing this is that everyone has their own set of rules. Each individual makes, decides and follows their own set of rules based on what works best for them and how they can effectively say what they mean. I don’t consider myself an expert communicator or a master wordsmith, but I do consider myself a lover of words and an advocate for individual expression. Yet, this whole thing is a work in progress. The more I communicate with other the more I realize that there’s so much more to learn and so much more I want to share. Practice never really makes perfect but it definitely does make you better at your craft.

What I feel I need to practice more of is control. I need to control my severe case of diarrhea of the mouth. It’s similar to when you reflect on a previous conversation and come up with all of these snazzy remark or witty comebacks and think, “That’s what I should have said.” Except with me and my ailment I think, “I probably shouldn’t have said that.” These occasions occur often after a period of time when I’m upset or irate. My excuse is usually, “I’m such a passionate person that when I’m overcome with emotion I have to express it.” In reality, I’m probably just really annoyed or peeved and need to vent. Only I realize later that I probably wasn’t or shouldn’t have been as mad or worked up as I was. At the time, I was so driven by my need to be understood that I said more than should have been said which worked against me because by the time I’ve calmed down those words are still out there lingering in the other person’s mind and there aren’t any words that I could say to make them go away.

So while it’s beneficial to express yourself, it’s important to identify when and what is the best way to do that. Because as mentioned in other posts, communication is a two-way street: what you said needs to be understood or it’s not effective and just a waste of time.

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